I wanted to quickly mention several other practical things you can do to minimize crossdressing temptations in your life. They are all things that have helped me personally.
1. You and your wife could use separate closets – If you have a spare bedroom in your home, and have another closet to use, consider moving all of your clothes out of your bedroom and into the spare closet. If you do this, you can go to your closet to find a shirt to wear, and you won’t have to look at all of your wife’s beautiful dresses and skirts. In the life of any crossdresser, it is hard to look at a closet with female clothes in it and not recall the hundreds of times he has “borrowed” female clothes from that very closet or a similar one from his youth. Those reminders are not helpful. They will remind you of all your failures and make you feel bad, but also they will bring to your mind new temptations. You might want to quickly try something on from that closet. I suggest having your own closet, even if it’s more cumbersome to find your clothes in the morning, you might experience a lot less temptation to crossdress.
2. The soft/silky inside of suit coats – I have found that it helps me to wear nice clothing as a man, especially shirts and ties, or suit-coats. I suggest you consider spending a little more money on your clothing and buy some nice things that will give you pride in your appearance as a man. Enjoy the variety and creativity of matching different shirts, suits, and ties. Interestingly, some suit coats have very soft or silky material on the inside. Many crossdressers crave such soft fabrics. It’s a small thing, but wearing these suit-coats can help you to enjoy the sensory feel of that material without arousing crossdressing thoughts or sexual pleasure. You can enjoy such fabrics as a man. You can do this without bending the rules for masculine attire even a little bit.
3. Getting in Physical Shape – I have learned to be very intentional about staying healthy and getting into good physical shape. I suggest you do the same. Find 20 or 30 minutes each day, or several times a week, to do some exercising. You will experience better physical health and you will probably find yourself being in a better emotional mood as well. In addition, you might become more attractive to your wife and you can feel better about yourself and your male body. Find a sport you like to play and play with friends or join a recreational team. Lift weights and enjoy the feeling of being a muscular man. Men are naturally stronger than women, so it helps you to stand out and look more manly when you get your muscles in shape. Go jogging and shed some of the fat. I still wonder how much of crossdressing stems from shame about our masculine selves. While I don’t want to push men to struggle to fit into all the masculine stereotypes in order to heal from crossdressing, I do want to say that being a healthy good looking man is certainly helpful. We don’t have to be superstars, but we should take care of our bodies. And it’s not only about appearance. Exercise helps your body to release good endorphins so that you feel better each day.
4. New haircut – Similar to the above points, I finally got the kind of haircut that I wanted. It helped a lot. Don’t be afraid to make a change. Take time to think about your appearance. Get a more manly haircut. Get a more professional look. Whatever it is, just don’t be afraid to make a change. You might find your wife enjoys the change too.
With all these points, I’m not advocating that we need to be obsessed with looking good as men. No. But many of us have felt shame about our masculine bodies and appearance and turned to crossdressing. What I’m suggesting is simple. Just learn some basic skills in male grooming, dressing, and exercising. All people should do this anyway, whether men or women. It’s a small thing, but it has helped me a lot. If you are like me, you spent 30 seconds deciding what to wear and getting ready for the day when dressing as a boy or a man. But then while crossdressing you’d spend the entire day trying to painstakingly look good as a woman. I’m suggesting to put a fraction of that time and effort into looking good as a man. Spend 5 or 10 minutes instead of 30 seconds!