Yes you CAN stop crossdressing. You can find a change in your desires. You can have self-control. You can save your marriage. You can stop fantasizing about crossdressing. You can live as a man. You can still be happy. Change is possible. It is possible to stop crossdressing.
Does it take hard work? Yes. But healing is possible. You can stop dressing like a woman. You can find real lasting change as well as internal peace.
I’ve had this website for many years now. In that time I have talked to more men than I have counted who have stopped crossdressing completely. Some have been Christians, some have not been. Some are still in my prayer group. But some were once in our group and moved on once they were healthy, happy, and crossdressing was completely out of their life.
I’m not making any false cheap promises. Crossdressing addiction is a nasty piece of work. It’s a hard addiction to get rid of. Even today I experience temptations once in a while that I have to resist. So I am not naive and promising a magic pill that will take away your desires to cross-dress. That would be stupid. But I am saying clearly, in opposition to all the crossdressing propaganda out there on the net, that it is possible to change.
It is obvious logically first of all. You are able to control what you do. You have freewill. You don’t have to keep dressing in such a strange way. But you can also be encouraged that it is possible to quit because of reading the testimonies on this website.
For those who say, “I have to crossdress because it’s something that will never go away,” that is a cheap cop-out and an excuse. You are only crossdressing because you still want to. If you wanted to do the hard work of quitting, changing, and healing from that addiction, then you could. You can stop the activity immediately. And as far as the gender confusion and crossdressing desires you experience, those can change over time as well. Through new conditioning, through abstinence, understanding yourself better, and other measures, you can find that those desires will lessen and at times seem almost non-existent.
CHANGE IS POSSIBLE! Freedom can be had! It begins by acknowledging that you can change. If you want to begin the process of change, (and it is a process, not a one-time event), you can get some good help from reading my blog and the links I have linked to. You can also read my blog posts and look at joining our online prayer group.
Yes change is possible but it is no easy road to follow. I was once free for three years and then slid back just before the pandemic. Initially the pandemic accelerated it, as I was bored. So underwear CD went up as did visits to fiction sites and fantasising. A few months ago wishing to I decided to quit (see other posts) and found this great website. As i think someone else said the act of stopping dressing is fairly easy, you just purge. I have done fairly well with the thought process as well by employing CBT techniques. However laying relaxing in the tub last night I just started playing with myself and the forced fem fantasy kicked in big style. Before completion I realised what I was doing and managed to stop by concentrating of a project I am planning.
This just reinforces the need to keep the guard up all the time, your mind is out to catch you in the lazy moments!
Thanks Keith. I think one of the important things to remember as we continue to struggle is that day by day, we really appreciate and enjoy the freedom of not living in bondage to crossdressing addiction. Yes, the times of abstinence may not be permanent. We may have a slip up here or there. Or even if we don’t give in, we may struggle with the desire to give in, or fantasy in our minds. Yet it’s good to take the failures, when we give in, as reminders of just how nice freedom is, just how nice life is without constant crossdressing. What I’m saying is that, often crossdressers look at a time of giving in after a purge as a sign that crossdressing will never go away and you should just fully give in. I look at it more similarly to an alcoholic. When an alcoholic gives in again and wakes up in the road, they remember just how destructive their addiction was, and how free they felt for the year they were enjoying being free from alcohol. The slip up failure then fuels them to do better recovery work and get more accountability so that they don’t give in again, because they far prefer their life of freedom and joy without alcohol, than their wreck of an alcoholic life.
Yes, we need to be vigilant. Keep reminding yourself of how good it is to be in control of your life and not stuck in addiction. That gives us motivation for shutting down those fantasies when they come. Not suppression, but more like, “I acknowledge I really want to think about x fantasy right now. But I am making a choice to not given energy to that right now.”