I am not surprised that some of our readers are skeptical that healing from crossdressing, autogynephilia, or gender dysphoria is really possible. Maybe they have tried to quit several times, but never been successful. Or they know the pain of their own dysphoria. I imagine some think that I, Barnabas, am an anomaly. I understand. I know the feeling of hopelessness many of you are feeling. But let me assure you I am not alone. I write this short post to give you some hope that change is possible for you.

Yes you CAN stop crossdressing. You can experience some degree of change in your sexual desires and gender longings. You can experience self-control. You can keep your marriage. You can stop fantasizing about crossdressing. You can live as a man. You can actually be happy living as a man, living as yourself. Change is possible. It is possible to stop crossdressing. You can find real lasting change as well as internal peace.

Does it take hard work? Yes. But healing is possible.

This website has been around for many years now. In that time I have talked to many men who have stopped crossdressing completely. Some have been Christians, and some have been atheists or from other religions. Some got help from us, but some had already overcome on their own or with help from a counselor or pastor. Some overcame it without ever telling anyone their secret. Just imagine if you are a man who struggled with crossdressing, but then overcame it. Would you spend time meeting other men struggling with crossdressing and post lots of articles online? Most likely not, unless he felt a great burden to help others, as I do. But the average man is going to move on with his life and try not to think about the crossdressing he used to be addicted to. I bet there must be thousands of men out there like this. Just because they don’t share their stories online, doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Some of these men have emailed me to share their stories 1on1.

In our recovery groups, people have come and gone over the years, but we are talking about hundreds of people who have been involved in our groups. Some people have left our recovery groups over the years but told us why they were leaving. Many were able to stop indulging their autogynephilia and find inner peace. They had also learned to stop crossdressing and live without it. They had experienced healing from the Lord in their hearts, minds, and bodies. And additionally some have experienced restored marriages. Most of these men have not written up their stories either, but a few of them have written posts here – guest posts. This is not to say that everyone still in our recovery groups is floundering and struggling. A lot of people in the groups are doing well but stay in the groups in order to help others, and to have accountability and reminders not to give in again to cross-gender longing or crossdressing.

Change is possible. I’m not making any cheap promises. This is not about conversion therapy or reparative therapy, which we soundly reject. This is not about “pray the autogynephilia away.” We don’t think God is going to give most of us a miraculous cure. See this post – Healing Doesn’t Mean No More Temptations. We don’t have a magic pill for you to swallow. But we can testify that some things really do work to bring about slow change. We focus on relying on the Lord Jesus and his love for us, getting to know him better and reading his Word. We work on saying “no” to the temptations when they come and over time they lessen in strength. We focus on learning self control. We try to learn about ourselves as much as possible to understand how autogynephilic desires operate in us. We cultivate contentment and self-acceptance of our bodies and identities, while working against envy. We focus on limiting opportunities to act out. And we focus on indulging our heterosexuality (pursuing our wives), rather than our autogynephilia. Making new daily habits, living intentional lives of purpose, and having regular accountability also all play a role in our recovery.

For some of us, crossdressing or related cross-gender activities like trans porn or sissy hypnosis are actually sexual addictions. It’s very hard to overcome an addiction, especially without help from others. We are not promising you this will be easy. But we are saying, in as clear of a way as possible, in opposition to all the pro-crossdressing and pro-trans websites on the internet, that CHANGE IS POSSIBLE!

Freedom can be had! It begins by acknowledging that you can change. I tend to think that if you don’t believe there is any hope for change, that you are setting yourself up for failure from the beginning. If you want to begin the process of change, (and it is a process, not a one-time event), you can get some good help from reading our website posts and other links. Please consider joining one of our recovery groups. Any questions or concerns? Feel free to comment below.