Don’t be a Fool! You will get caught crossdressing! This post is an attempt to scare some of you enough that you will get a brief moment of lucidity, a brief moment of escape from the pink fog, so that you can begin thinking clearly again, and look at crossdressing for what it is, and to begin to live your real life again.
Fear should not be our sole motivator in getting rid of our crossdressing. But it is a helpful beginning point for some people. Fear won’t sustain you through the long haul of finding healing from your crossdressing addiction, but it can help you cut through the lies, and begin to stop the behavior at the start of your healing process. Certainly once you stop crossdressing at first out of fear, you should take time to think about it as an activity, whether you really want to keep doing it or not, whether or not its really good for you, etc. Hopefully then once you continue to abstain from crossdressing it won’t be only out of fear, but will be because you are convinced life is better without it, and because you want to live for God with gratitude because of his love for you.
Listen to these Bible passages about the reality that you will eventually be caught and found out:
Numbers 32:23 – “But if you fail to do this, you will be sinning against the Lord; and you may be sure that your sin will find you out.”
Galatians 6:7 – “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction.”
Proverbs 6:27-29 – “Can a man scoop fire into his lap
without his clothes being burned?
Can a man walk on hot coals
without his feet being scorched?
So is he who sleeps with another man’s wife;
no one who touches her will go unpunished.”
You may crossdress for a while with no one finding out. But eventually you WILL get caught. I could tell you stories but I’m not going to because they are too personal, too scary, the memories are not fun and I don’t want to dwell there. I could tell you stories of other guys of our community connected to this website, but you can read their comments and testimonies. Instead just imagine these scenarios:
- Someone can so easily walk in on you while you are crossdressing. Your wife, girlfriend, mother, father, surprise relative visit, sister, brother, neighbor, roommate, maintenance man, pastor. Someone can just as easily walk in on you while you are masturbating or while you are looking at crossdressing photos on the computer.
- A family member, friend, coworker, or neighbor might be able to tell you have residual makeup on your face from previous crossdressing.
- Someone may easily find your internet history. A wife may see that you keep fully deleting your internet history and wondering about it. A wife may wonder why you always jump and look nervous when she gets home and you were just on the computer.
- A wife/girlfriend may wonder why you never get much done during long weekends she is away, and why you never take those opportunities to do the hobbies you enjoy or get together with friends.
- A wife/girlfriend may wonder why you don’t grow a beard or mustache for her, or why you want to shave your legs, or why you have so much knowledge about make up and her clothing.
- Your wife or girlfriend, or parents, or siblings, or plumber may find your hidden stash of clothing in the house.
- Your wife, girlfriend, mother, or sister may be able to tell that their clothing has slightly moved from its location and you were the only one home to move it. They may find a shirt torn from being stretched. They may see a skirt too loose. They may see clothing not put back correctly on hangars or in drawers. They may see sweat stains, deodorant stains, or semen stains on their panties or shirts or other clothing.
- You may easily forget to delete your internet history. Your internet may be being monitored at work, or at home.
- There may be hidden cameras in homes or places that you don’t know about.
- A housekeeper may find hidden items or clothing.
- Someone may recognize you when you are out on the town while dressed. Someone may easily see you are a man in a dress, and not a real woman. Maybe they recognize your vehicle.
- Your wife or mother may be doing a deep clean on the house and find your hidden stash in the crawl spaces or attic or under the bed or in the garage.
- It is so so easy for someone to say they are leaving for something for a day or for hours but then forget something and come back home. Your time of uninterrupted private crossdressing activity could easily be interrupted.
- Your wife or girlfriend might tell other friends or neighbors that you are home if they need something. And then they come to your door and knock, but you don’t answer because you are crossdressed, and they report to your wife or girlfriend that you weren’t actually at home.
- Your wife or others could find out about your history of purchases online, with a credit card, etc.
- Kids may be looking in your windows for fun (happened to me), and may decide to tell their parents what they saw. Kids might come into your house without knocking (has happened to me).
- You might have to take off your outer shirt at work for some reason. Or you might have to change clothes at work in the bathroom. In either case, someone might see your undergarments. You might have to take off your shoes and socks at work for an exercise or drill, in which case someone would see your painted toenails.
- Your friends might decide to haze you or just play a joke on you and come into your house at night to do something to you.
- Your wife might see the indentation of bra straps on your back later after you had been crossdressing.
- A real life or online transgendered or crossdressing friend might call you or send you a text at a bad time or send an email that your wife or family could hear/read.
- You can forget to remove some makeup or miss a spot when removing nail polish.
- Your siblings, or child, or roommate may come and wake you up unexpectedly.
- Your crossdressing photos or journals may be found on your computer.
- You may forget to remove all your crossdressing photos off of your digital camera.
- Your wife’s or mother’s or girlfriend’s lipstick or other cosmetics or jewelry may not be put back exactly in the same position they were in.
- Someone may find female clothing or tissues stained with makeup in the trash.
- Someone may come home and what you thought would be a quick removal of clothes, turned out not so quick as you cannot get the too tight female apparel off of your body.
- There might be a fire, or a thief, or a million other possible scenarios in which you would have to leave your house/apartment at night and or have to talk to police or fireman at the door.
- When you die, your stash will be found, whether on the computer or the clothes in the closet. Do you want people to remember you this way?
I’m sure there are plenty of other ways to be caught that I haven’t mentioned. Feel free to add some more with your comments below. We CANNOT prepare for every scenario. Crossdressing is a highly time consuming and intensive activity, one that is very hard to hide completely. Eventually we WILL get caught. And it only takes one time. You can do the best you can to keep your secret every day, but all it takes is that one time, and your secret is out. I think it is important to add that if you ever get out of these tricky situations, most likely you will have had to blatantly lie to someone important to you. So while you may give yourself a pat on the back for never getting caught, you can also pat yourself on the back for being a filthy liar.
Research has shown that crossdressers throw caution and security to the wind when crossdressing. Normal judgment and common sense is thrust aside in pursuit of the pleasure. This is just another reason why you need to wake up and realize one day you will take too many risks and you will be caught. See what Richard F. Docter says in his book, Transvestites and Transsexuals:
Some TVs report that they have risked possible detection while cross dressed only to wonder in quieter moments how they could possibly have shown such poor judgment and such a lack of restraint. For some, there seems to be a weakening of reality testing associated with being cross dressed. Perhaps the experience of heightened arousal and excitement which seems to accompany the transvestic experiences of some also involves a “suspension of judgment” as one TV put it. However, it appears very apparent that the ability to test reality is not lost, as it would be in a psychotic episode or in drug intoxication. Rather, there seems to be a temporary pushing aside of caution, restraints, and clear thinking about the consequences of actions. The hindsight, reflective evaluation of some cross dressers is often expressed as something like, “I don’t know how I could possibly have taken such a risk …. “ Unusual risk taking seems to be most common in the early years of venturing out in public while dressed. For example, one TV said: “When I first started going out as Irma I felt I had to do things I would never do today, such as going to the same coffee shop ‘dressed’ where I have lunch every day.”
The choice is yours from here. Are you going to keep taking such risks until you get caught? Do you keep playing with fire hoping that you won’t be burned? Do you plan to keep crossdressing and just do it with more paranoia and carefulness after reading my post? Or do you stop crossdressing, and live a good life without fear, a life without nasty secrets concerning what you do in the dark alone?
For me, if I’m going to get caught, at the very least, I want it on my own terms. At this point, if someone finds out about my crossdressing history, I can at least explain it to them, explain the healing that God has given me, and talk about it as the addiction that I fight against. I would not feel too bad telling someone that even if it was a bit uncomfortable. But it would be much harder to answer to someone about your crossdressing when you are currently in the throws of the addiction.
I pray that God gives you the strength to wake up to reality, that he shows you that you aren’t all powerful and cannot protect yourself forever from being found out. I pray that God uses this little bit of healthy fear to get you out of the deceptive trap of crossdressing, and into the light, to begin living the abundant life that God intends for us.