I remember when I first explored the issue of crossdressing on the internet when I was young, one of the first things I found was a website talking about Freud’s view of crossdressing, the “sexual inversion hypothesis.” While Freud had a lot of crazy and strange views, and I surely disagree with him on many, if not most, psychological matters, I do think there is some merit to his idea here. Maybe not the whole idea as he has packaged it, but at least the central point, which is that the man’s sexual desire for women is somehow diverted, or inverted, so that he desires himself dressed as a woman, instead of a real woman. Even as a youth addicted to crossdressing, this idea made perfect sense to me and fit my situation. Today, I still think it describes the situation well of many, (but not all), crossdressers today. I say so not because of scientific evidence, but based on my experience and the stories of most other crossdressers I have ever read.
Here is an article that explains Freud’s view on this. It is a very interesting read. “Freud’s Sexual Inversion Hypothesis and Crossdressing.” His view seems to be very similar or even the same as the view of Blanchard and Bailey, called autogynephilia, I’ve talked about in this post – Book Recommendation – The Man who would be Queen.
Where I disagree with Freud is how this condition is caused. He argued that it could be due to things like incestual thoughts towards a mother, or problems with the relationship with our mothers in general. I don’t think any of that makes sense and it doesn’t seem to fit the stories of crossdressers I have talked to. However, the third class of causes, “facilitating experiences,” would actually fit a bit with my own story.
I’ll list some quotes from the above website for those who might not have time to read the whole thing. Quotations:
“With respect to crossdressing, the idea is that the sexual feelings a male would ordinarily direct towards women, are, in the crossdresser, diverted. They become instead directed towards female clothing, or towards the crossdresser himself as an imagined female.Sexual feelings must be understood to encompass a variety of distinct sensations and emotions, including:
- the giddiness or high that a man feels when attracted to a woman
- soft, tactile gratifications of holding and touching
- sexual arousal
- stimulation of erogenous zones
- release of sexual tension with orgasm
In the “normal” male, these sensations and feelings are elicited in various phases of courtship and mating with a female, and to some degree also in other relationships with women. Inversion implies that for some reason, the normal process is not followed, such that the man chooses to experience some or all of these types of pleasurable feelings by himself. As evidence that something like this is going on, consider the prominence that mirrors have in the life of the crossdresser. Indeed, one wonders whether, if there were no mirrors or cameras, there would even be crossdressing. The crossdresser sees in the mirror a reasonable facsimile of a woman. Many of the same cues that a man finds sexually attractive in a woman are in that image–the clothes, makeup, hair, nuances of expression, etc. It seems fairly clear that a crossdresser obtains sexual enjoyment (by the broad definition of ‘sexual’ above) from his own image. The basic concept of inversion is thus simple enough–the man chooses to display the attractive features of women, and to enjoy those, rather than to enjoy these features as present in an actual women.”
“A main implication is that crossdressing of this kind is not an ideal state (note: all comments here only apply to inversion-caused crossdressing). It is a misdirection of sexual energies from their original purpose. It might be too strong to call it “pathological.” But the theory does imply that crossdressing impairs self-actualization. Crossdressing risks violating the organic integrity of the male. It affects the unity of his essence. Part of him is still committed to women and to finding higher levels of fulfillment through his love of women. But the crossdressing diverts energy from this. By not adequately investing his sexual urges in women, his relationships with women potentially do not become as deep and fulfilling as they might otherwise become.
Like all neurotic or defensive behavior, there is an inherent paradox with such crossdressing. It is a “good” strategy short-term, but not long-term. For any given day or week, crossdressing provides pleasure and escape from anxiety. But what are the consequences, what opportunities lost by following the strategy for 10 years, 20 years or more?
The crossdresser basically experiences a highly refined version of infantile sexuality. It is highly fantasy laden, and extremely narcissistic. Some would argue that the very purpose of erotic pleasure is to tie us more deeply to other people. Yet in the crossdresser the pursuit of sexual pleasure tends to have the opposite effect of driving him away from people and into himself.”
When I was a boy I diverted sexual gratification as a boy with an unresolved Oedipus complex to desire for my mother. When the realization that I could never have her, I diverted my desire to her undergarments, ie panties, stockings and garter belt and bra. And dressing in them and their feminine scent. I eventually wanted to be a woman and found my penis offensive. I eventually
realized that I would never be a woman I tried sex with men and women and I liked women more only because I was turned on by femininity. But I realized that I desired a phallus during sex I would have sex with both men and women at the same time
When I married a cisgender woman when we had sex, I imagined myself as her lesbian lover. Now I am married to a trans woman and I have satisfaction. The 3rd gender
Jim, may I ask why you are here? Did you want to get some help from my website to change your lifestyle? Or you just wanted to share your story?
My brother was a cross-dresser. We were extremely close, born just 14 months apart. He kept it secret from all the 8-person family until he told me about it in his 40s. He was heterosexual, married three times, and the father of two children. His second wife knew he was a cross=dresser when he married her, and she tolerated it but did not participate in it in any way (he would do it after she went to bed). His third knew about it from the start, accepted it, and he would crossdress during sex. I know these facts from him telling me and from discussions about it with his second wife. All of his wives were successful, hard-working women. He was intelligent and college-educated in science, but had consistent problems with employment, repeatedly getting in fights with his bosses. He couldn’t keep a job, and was fired more than once. He was charming and handsome. He died at 57 years of age a few years ago, from cancer.
I have done some internet research on the topic of cross-dressing, mostly when he first told me about it. Anyone who has done that has seen the huge range of almost artistic twists of explanation about it, and not just scientific, but literary. Here, I am reading for the first time Freud’s words on the matter. I’m writing this note to say specifically that, to me, his words are the most coherent and meaningful I’ve read on the subject, and match most closely my own and my brother’s experiences.
Our mother was abusive and emotionally rejective. Freud posits this as possible causation. She also had ambivalent and often negative attitudes toward men in general, and against all four of her sons. None of us had the experience of a loving mother, one who was always ready to back us up, cheer us on, or anything else close to the normal, loving mothers of friends that I witnessed (thankfully) in my childhood. I clearly recall my other two, older brothers on a few occasions crossdressing. One got caught and sent to a shrink for a session of two. Both are completely hetero, have long-lasting marriages with children, and are successful if slightly neurotic adults. Neither is a crossdresser. I was gay from my earliest memory. My being gay never troubled me in any ethical or moral way, even as it scared me in my early teens that peers would find out. At 21, I told my parents and I never hid it from anyone after that. I’m successful, married for 30 years, and pretty happy after hundreds of old-fashioned MD/shrink talk sessions in my 20s and 30s. My poor brother never got counseling, and I have to assume felt much guilt about his crossdressing, at least until he “came out” in his 40s, after his third divorce, to the whole family and to his friends. He had assumed that we would know. We were all completely shocked.
It’s a complex subject, but some of the writings about it, particularly 20th C literary writings, are, at best, speculative and in their meandering philosophizing often end up being inapplicable to real-life situations. Freud’s words hit home, with me at least.
Thank you George for commenting. I’m sorry for the loss of your brother.
What you write is very interesting. With regards to homosexuality at least (less research has been done on crossdressing), there is the long time debate of how much is genetics, and how much is the environment one is raised in, and how much is personal choice. I wonder how you think about yourself in light of the family situation you described? It seems probable that the way your mother treating you as sons could have played some role in all the crossdressing and homosexuality that manifested in your one family?
When your other brothers crossdressed, was it just for dress-up games, or was it more serious, even if temporary?
You said you are married. To a man or to a woman?