I’d like to outline one practical tool that could be helpful for some people in their recovery process. I got the idea a decade ago from a previous accountability partner. He used to struggle with pornography addiction. When he would have a failure with looking at pornography, he would give a financial donation to an organization that worked to stop sex trafficking. He did this perhaps as a kind of punishment for himself, but much more so as a concrete way to fight back against pornography, and as something that would make him feel the weight of the sin of pornography. Not all pornography is made by sex traffickers abusing women, but some of it is, and giving financially was a way to remind himself of this and take his personal fight to overcome pornography more seriously. As a follower of Christ, it was a reminder to him each time that he should be about the business of setting women free, rather than fueling the sex trafficking industry and his own personal objectification of women.

What about for us? Well, I know many of us struggle with pornography as well as crossdressing, so doing exactly what he did is certainly an option, and a good one. But can we make a similar plan that fits more directly with crossdressing? Yes we can. Here are two proposals below. Each time you fail in giving in to your addiction you could give financially, but you could also intentionally set up a regular giving plan as a way to help others experience the new freedom that you enjoy.

1. Give financially to a ministry that counsels and reaches out to those struggling with sex addiction in general, or crossdressing/gender dysphoria in particular. You can see a whole list of organizations on my links page. These organizations literally save lives, both rescuing people from suicide, but also reconciling marriages, and saving families. Wouldn’t it feel good to financially support those working to set people free from crossdressing addiction? Or those who are working to bring comfort, care, and wholeness to those struggling with gender dysphoria? (I don’t need any financial support for this website, I just write here as I get time, but there are a lot of great people working at those listed organizations that work full-time to counsel others).

2. Consider the money you have spent on female clothing in the past. Could that money be put to better use? If you were going to buy a dress (which is not supposed to be worn by you), could you not instead use that money to buy clothes for a real woman who is poor and cannot afford it? For a woman who actually should be clothed in such a beautiful garment, that would fit her body properly? Of course, giving to a specific person personally might not be very practical. But with this kind of idea in your head, consider giving to humanitarian organizations that help feed and clothe the hungry and care for the poor, whether in the USA or around the world.

I really think these are great ideas, and I’m going to give a donation right now when I finish writing. However, one quick caution as I close this post. Be careful not to use financial giving as a way to atone for the guilt you feel over your sin. You can only be made right before God through the work of Christ. No matter how much money you give, no matter how many good deeds you do, you cannot make up for the sin of pornography or crossdressing in your life. Our good deeds do not atone for our sin. Only the perfect righteousness of Christ given to us as a gift can make us right with God and reconcile us to him. If you give a financial gift each time you fail, well and good. But do so as a response to God’s grace, and as a way to fight back against sin. Don’t do it as a way to feel in your heart that you are making up for your sin so that God will be pleased with you again. That can never work. Trying to reconcile with God through doing good deeds is foolishness and is impossible. Rather, we accept God’s mercy and abundant grace given to us in Christ. In response to that grace, we do good deeds and give to help others. But we do so not to earn anything, but rather as a way to show how thankful we are for God’s grace.