I want to share a great idea. If you want to limit your crossdressing, both your actual practice, and your temptations, then grow a beard or a mustache. Here are a few of my thoughts.
On the one hand, having a beard or mustache seems like a stereotypically manly thing to do. But if you think about it, it’s a helpful thing to do, because in our culture and basically in all cultures, only men have beards and mustaches. So if you have one you will look like a man. And maybe that will help you to feel more like a man. Think about all of the things women are able to do to customize their appearance with clothing and makeup and jewelry. For us men, there is not much we can do. But customizing our facial hair belongs to men only. Take advantage of it. I don’t think there is any biblical requirement to have a beard, but I do think about how God clearly made males to have facial hair and not females, so why not trust in his design? Why remove the facial hair that he gave to us?
For those of us who love beauty and looking at our appearance (all crossdressers past and present I think), having a beard is a good thing. It’s a way to take pride in your appearance. Instead of taking an hour to put on makeup, take an hour to shave carefully, artfully crafting your facial hair. Take pride in your appearance in the few ways that you can as a man rather than trying to look like a woman.
Another benefit is that this will lessen your temptations. You can let your wife know that having a beard is part of your strategy for overcoming crossdressing. That way, if you shave your beard in order to crossdress, your wife will know. And if you crossdress while having a beard, I guarantee it won’t be as enjoyable. You’ll look much more like a man in a dress (which in actual fact, that is what you are). The deception of crossdressing in front of a mirror will be much less successful. You will not as easily be able to delude yourself that you look like a beautiful woman when you see that huge beard above the dress. Trust me, this helps. In the past, I remember I crossdressed with a beard, and the mental picture I got was enough for me to resist many more crossdressing occasions later on. A beard is also a good daily reminder that you actually are a man, and shouldn’t be trying to pretend you are a woman.
For me, my wife is more attracted to me with a beard. Maybe it will be the same for your wife. But If your wife is not attracted to a beard, explain to her the merits of it in your struggle for healing from crossdressing and she may go for the idea. It doesn’t have to be a big beard or mustache, just something small, a masculine touch.
Guys, there is not much we can do to limit crossdressing temptations in our highly sexualized culture in which we see women and pictures of women and clothing of women constantly. Here is one very practical small thing you can do.
Check out these websites to see just how many styles of beards you could have: