Psalm 119:32 – I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free.
Many people come to this website who are not Christians and yet they find themselves stuck in a crossdressing addiction or in the despair of gender dysphoria. Others come who would call themselves Christians, but are just now starting to be interested in their relationship with God as they try to get his help to overcome their addiction. This page is for all of these types of people. I want people to be able understand my Christian perspective. Everything you see on this website – every blog post, every comment I make, things I choose or don’t choose to blog about – all of these things are colored by my overall outlook on the meaning of life which I describe below. This post is just a very brief introduction to the Christian faith, about what I believe and how I live.
I believe that the meaning of life, the reason that we exist as humans, is to worship God and enjoy him forever. I am from an evangelical protestant faith background, though I strive for unity among Christian denominations. Here is quote from the Westminster Shorter Catechism –
Q. 1. What is the chief end of man?
A. Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever. (Westminster Catechism)
Life is about having a relationship with the God who created us, about giving him the worship that he deserves and finding extreme pleasure and enjoyment in him. Without a relationship with God, it really doesn’t matter whether you crossdress or not. Everything in life becomes pretty meaningless. But if we do know God’s love, and love him, and have a relationship with him, then everything we do in life becomes meaningful.
Unfortunately, we as humans have messed up our relationship with God through our sin and disobedience. Only through Jesus Christ can that relationship with God be restored. He lived the life we could not live and gives us the rewards that he earned by that life. He gives us his righteousness since our own righteousness is not good enough. And even though Jesus was innocent, he died to take the punishment we deserve for our sin. He conquered death on the cross and allowed us to be saved from our punishment. He is our perfect representative.
Accept Jesus as your Savior and Lord and you can have a loving and right relationship with God. It’s totally free, and yet totally priceless. Jesus is the supreme treasure of my life.
How do we learn about what Jesus did for us? How do we learn about God, this world, and ourselves? How do we learn about how God wants us to live? We learn these things through reading the Bible, the written word of God, inspired by God and written down by people. For a summary of Christian beliefs, you can read the Apostle’s Creed.
In practice, I live my life in obedience to God’s commands, trying the best that I can, and I do this in gratitude for all God has done for me, not to earn anything. I obey because I have been forgiven, I don’t obey in order to be forgiven. I pray daily and read the Bible daily, and I go to church on Sundays to worship God along with other people who know Him. I find community and accountability and love in the local church.
I desire to help people resist crossdressing, and try to understand themselves. I desire people to be healed from their pain and become whole people once again. But whoever we are, whether we crossdress or not, true healing, meaning in life, salvation, hope, grace, and eternal life can only be found in Jesus.
This of course is just an extremely brief summary of what I believe, but hopefully it gives you some food for thought. If you would ever like to talk about the Christian faith or why I believe what I believe, or how you yourself can become a follower of Jesus, please talk to me about it. There is nothing I would rather do than to talk to you about my Lord, and the good news of salvation that we can have in Jesus.
To read my more detailed story about my struggle with crossdressing go here – About Me.
To read more about why I think crossdressing is sinful, you can begin with this post – Summary – Reasons Crossdressing is Sinful and Harmful.
Hi there Sir.
I’m crossdressing.. I tried to cut it off this habit.. But I can’t the longest period was 3 months.. Every time I do I feel sorry for myself and I don’t to give up easily. Nowadays on community they support this thing and they say that we have to accept it. I don’t believe that I know this work of satanic.. Even in our religion (Islam) it prohibited.. But I can’t stop.. I don’t know how I found this website but I happy that there is hope…
My advice only to victims from this disease that stop ask people and search for advisor who believe on creator (God).
I’ll try your way and I hope God guide me to light.
Sorry for long letter and for my bad English.
Good to hear from you Almuthana. Your English is not bad. It’s very readable! Thank you for your comment. Please continue to read my posts and interact with them. You may find the help you need to overcome this addiction. I believe you can experience freedom without crossdressing in your life
Let me also say that though I am a Christian and you are a Muslim, you are very welcome here. I look forward to the dialogue we might have together. If you don’t mind me asking, what is your view of Jesus?
Please keep reading my posts and feel free to give your comments. I’m glad you are here
Good day sir
Thank you for replying and your support..
About Jesus we love and believe on him as messenger of God before prophet Mohammed…
And as it’s mentioned in Quran that Jesus he’s not crossed. God saved him and he’ll be back…plus God say that Jesus not different from Adam which he don’t have parent.
In Islam we have to believe on all messengers..but Mohammed sent for us so that’s why we have to follow him as last messenger..
Even Jesus say that there is prophet after me follow him and his guidance.
I rly get annoyed when I see some people and media make jokes on Jesus. .
There’s alot to say about Jesus even this comment box not enough?
Have good sir and once again thanks alot for your guidance.
Thank you for that answer Almuthana. I appreciate learning more about how you view Jesus. Thank you for explaining that to me. We shall talk more about that later.
In the meantime, I would love for you to get started on overcoming crossdressing by reading this post – https://healingfromcrossdressing.org/12-steps-to-stop-crossdressing/
Please comment as you read the posts, and give your reactions. I want to be able to help you. Also, I am praying for you
Good to have chat with you Mr.Barnabas…
I’ll never for forget your support and I’ll pray for you..
I hope we will meet one day here on real life or at heaven if God willing.
I will keep reading your post if I have any doubts I’ll send to you…
(no need to reply?)
I also want to appreciate you for being willing to read about my Christian beliefs in this post. Thank you for listening. If you have any questions about what I believe, please let me know.
Be sure to let me know what I can do to help you overcome crossdressing addiction as well.
In your opening paragraph you state “Many people come to this website who are not Christians and yet they find themselves stuck in a crossdressing addiction or in the despair of gender dysphoria………….This page is for all of these types of people”
In q1 above you make the following comment;
“Without a relationship with God, it really doesn’t matter whether you crossdress or not”.
As you are aware I am an atheist, I come to this website because it does matter to me personally and to my wife that I am trying to quit crossdressing. I have not once and will not now question your beliefs, but I now question your stated inclusiveness, for your comment leaves no room for people such as myself. I had thought that I had found a helping hand and could lend a helping hand, but I am now not so sure.
Hi Keith, thank you for the very honest and stimulating question. As always, I appreciate your comments, truly. Let me try to answer, though you might have to comment again to help me better understand your concern. But I will guess at what you are trying to say and ask.
People mean different things by “inclusive.” Am I inclusive in that I welcome everyone here at this website? YES! Am I inclusive in that I think God does not care whether or not a person knows him and worships him? No. I think it matters immensely. I feel like I have even shared this with you in the past. That I hope and pray that you will come to know Jesus yourself, but that I don’t want to pressure you to do so, and even if you don’t, I want you stay at this website and comment and be helped and help others and myself.
When I say it really doesn’t matter whether you crossdress or not without a relationship with God, I’m talking about meaning in relative degrees. I do care and want all crossdressers to stop crossdressing, I would find that meaningful. However, the degree of that meaning is very small compared to whether or not someone knows their Creator, compared to whether or not someone is going to spend everlasting life in Heaven or in Hell. Do you see what I mean? I do want someone coming to this website to be able to give up crossdressing. That’s a good thing, but compared to someone receiving eternal life, it’s a very very small good that matters a lot less in the big picture. If I did not believe this, I could not call myself a Christian.
I imagine that this is somewhat hard to understand for those who do not know Christ. But I like what atheist Penn Jilette says – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6md638smQd8
He seems to get it, so maybe it will help you too. It is out of love that I want others to know my Lord as well. That’s the same thing I want for you.
So to summarize again. This website is a safe place for atheists, for our Muslim friend, for anybody who wants to give up crossdressing, or even for those who don’t want to, but want to dialogue about crossdressing. They are fully welcome here. At the same time, I’m not ashamed to say that I think that life lived without God is ultimately meaningless. The two things can go together. Just like you on the one hand are welcoming and kind to me, and on the other hand, you probably think I’m living a foolish life to base so much of my behavior on the Bible, when you think God does not exist or he is not knowable. The two can also go together in your case. You are kind to me and respectful and appreciate discussing crossdressing, even if you think I’m wasting my life trying to worship God. Do you see? And I understand that, and it doesn’t bother me.
In the end, I’d encourage you to judge my inclusivity based on the actual interactions you’ve had with me so far. And I think our interactions have been positive. I’m even happy to post another guest post for you if you are interested.
Please follow up if I haven’t addressed your concerns!
I will take back the comment that I question your inclusiveness, for as you say you have indeed welcomed me. Perhaps my comment was not quite clear in itself. I believe that the comments that you have clarified above should be included in short form in your original statement so as not to lead to possible misinterpretation.
I do not believe that you or any other preacher/person is foolish in there beliefs and I include Atheists who are just the other side of the religious coin. Where beliefs do harm is where they are pressed/imposed upon unwilling subjects and all sides are guilty on this score. In the end we are all entitled to hold our own views.
I have watched the video in the link above. Like Penn I have encountered many humble and good people and clergy. I have also encountered some very arrogant and not terribly good people and clergy. You get a similar mix in all walks of life. Also like Penn I will not be persuaded by words alone, there has to be a solid foundation for my belief. You cannot persuade me by words in a book, that is at best less than 2000 years old when modern humans are believed to have emerged around 300,000 years ago. Historians cannot agree what exactly happened in the second world war with books full of false claims and individual interpretations of occurrences. Researchers have shown people a video of a fake robbery, then a few hours later questioned them about it. The participants often get details wrong or are persuaded to change their beliefs about what happened. Look what happens when a text is translated from the original language without consultation with the author. Try typing a sentence in another language, ask google to translate then translate googles translation back to your own language. The result is comic. I am not mocking the bible or any other religious text just pointing out that all written work is open to personal interpretation and none of us can possibly know what the original writers intentions or thoughts were, that produced the work.
Thank you Keith. I’m glad to see your response. I am with you, I think it is wrong for Christians, or people from other religions, to try to force or impose their beliefs on people. Sadly, that has all too often happened in history.
As to the truth of Christianity, I think there is such foundation there that you are looking for, but we can save that conversation for another day. I have books I’d suggest to you also on that point, we could read them together and discuss, if you are ever interested let me know.
Am happy you will remain around to keep dialoguing on different posts
Now had phone contact with the informed family member. They confirmed that they dont even see crossdressing as an issue and conversation on the subject lasted for about 1 to 2 minutes out of an hours phone call!.
A great weight of the mind that they had not had second thoughts about it and were totally accepting.
That is certainly a relief Keith. Question for ya. I know your perspective is quite different than mine, but we both agree that crossdressing wasn’t a good thing for us and very important that we stopped. So the question is – having this family member being affirming and accepting, does that bother you at all? And does it cause you some temptation or doubts?
Similar story to yours Barnabas is it not ?
Worth the read. https://www.firststone.org/articles/post/cross-dressing-and-christianity:-a-real-mans-struggle
Yes that is a great one. One of the first testimonies I read when I started looking up about crossdressing online.
Thanks for the link Babs AKA horrified. Any interesting read and some of this persons back story is reflected in my own. The paragraph that particularly keeps me true is “would I walk into my club en femme. Very definitely not.
To answer you Barnabas it has caused me to briefly wonder if it would be so bad just to try a pair of tights maybe or just knickers. As the family now knew about my CD, they would not have a shock at finding my stash when I die or finding out in another way, so that relieves part of the guilt and shame.
However, a) Just trying on even the smallest item would put me back on top of Occam’s razor a place that I do not want to be.
b) I still have one family member to have the discussion with and they already have issues with their emotional state, so I need to be very careful how I approach it. As with the other family member knowledge may help quash in correct assumptions or may cause more pain.
c) I still have to consider my wife and her feelings, though we do touch on my CD occasionally it is largely laid to rest. The other day she had a pain in her arm and said to me “you probably know the feeling when your bra strap slips down your arm? its right there” I agreed I knew where she meant and she just laughed.