There have been so many times in the past that I rationalized my addiction to crossdressing through such simple thoughts like –
“But they are just clothes.”
“I’m just being myself, allowing the feminine part of my personality out.”
“This is not sexual, it’s about my identity.”
“This isn’t narcissistic, it’s self-expression.”
“It’s just that these clothes are more comfortable.”
“I’m only doing this as a hobby, and for relaxation.”
These thoughts are such stupid false rationalizations. And one reality clearly blows them all out of the water by itself, aside from the many other arguments I’ve made that show these statements to be false. The reality is the necessity of a mirror. At least in my own experience the mirror was necessary. When I crossdressed, I might have told myself such statements, but I would still spend all of my time in front of a mirror, or at least just sitting and looking at myself.
When women express themselves through choosing their clothing, they don’t then spend hours in front of the mirror just staring at themselves. They might spend a lot of time getting ready, but not hours just looking at themselves. And if women did do this, we would think they are very vain. So how can crossdressers delude themselves with the types of statements above?
There are two options. Either A. We as crossdressers are very narcissistic.
Or B. We use ourselves as replacement women to lust after.
Of course for me, crossdressing was sexual, otherwise why could I only ever enjoy crossdressing when ogling myself or looking at myself in the mirror? Think about your relationship to the mirror. And don’t just take my word for it. Think about what Richard F. Docter says in his book, Transvestites and Transsexuals:
The importance of the mirror as a desired, even necessary, device deserves comment. As Buckner (1970) has noted, it is through the reflected image of the pseudowoman that the young transvestite develops his “partner.” Nothing more clearly provides a clue into the experience of the transvestite than does the mirror. The cross dresser never wants to perceive himself as his male self in the mirror; he wants to see images, stimuli, and many variations of his dream girl. The mirror offers him endless reflections of his ideal pin-up; the one “girl” who will never reject or disappoint; a predictable, reliable partner in the adventures of sex.
My crossdressing brothers out there, I plead with you, not out of hate, but out of love for you, please wake up to the reality of what crossdressing is. If you are going to do it, at least face the reality of it honestly. Don’t give yourself false rationalizations. Look at the reality of the mirror in your crossdressing life. Some may argue that they don’t need the mirror (but then are you getting your thrills instead through people looking at you, as you “pass” as a woman?). Look at your crossdressing objectively.