A lot of people say they have tried to quit crossdressing or sissy hypnosis. Some even say they have tried everything. In some cases, I believe it. It can be really tough to overcome addiction even when you ask for help. But many of these people have not really tried. They half-heartedly tried. Of course, in their minds, they did try. But often trying means for people just gritting their teeth and trying to wrestle up enough willpower and self-control to not give in. That’s important! But they often overlook all the practical steps that would make it much more possible to overcome the addiction. If this addiction is really destroying your marriage, or destroying your life, or you believe it is sinful and displeasing to God, then wouldn’t you do whatever it takes to fight it? To overcome an addiction it takes more than just gritting your teeth and hoping to stop. You need to step into the light, you need to tell others, and you need to ask for help. It takes making real changes in your life to experience real change.

Reflect for yourself. Maybe you said to yourself, “I tried to quit but it didn’t work
-And yet you were never willing to confess to a friend or family member to get help.
-And yet you were never willing to see a counselor.
-And yet you were never willing to go to a 12-step group.
-And yet you were never willing to meet with your pastor. Or if you don’t have a church, to call up a pastor in your town.
-And yet you were never willing to confess to your wife.
-And yet you were never willing to do a daily journal, writing what you are truly feeling and thinking when temptations come.
-And yet you were never willing to read 1 Corinthians 10:13 a couple times a day.
-And yet you were never willing to get an internet filter.
-And yet you were never willing to get accountability software.
-And yet you were never willing to purge your female clothing.
-And yet you were never willing to delete and deactivate social media and website accounts that you use with your addiction.
-And yet you were never willing to get marriage counseling with your wife.
-And yet you were never willing to ask your wife for help in reducing temptations around the house.
-And yet you were never willing to read God’s Word for 30 minutes every day.
-And yet you were never willing to pray fervently accompanied by occasional fasting from food.
-And yet you were never willing to put work into memorizing Scripture.
-And yet you were never willing to find an accountability partner.
-And yet you were never willing to grow a beard to reduce the pleasure of crossdressing.
-And yet you were never willing to put in some time to work on the deeper issues of integration of your personality.
-And yet you were never willing to learn a new hobby or activity to take your mind off of crossdressing.
-And yet you were never willing to get out of the house doing productive things like Bible studies or volunteer work to have something else to do.
-And yet you were never willing to do the hard introspective work to figure out what the root causes of your crossdressing or addiction is.
-And yet you were never willing to read our website or other blogs/articles giving tips and information that would help them to quit.
-And yet you were never willing to take time to read books on your addiction, or to read online testimonies of those who have recovered from the addiction.
-And yet you were never willing to pray daily, every hour, asking God for strength to resist the temptations.
-And yet you were never willing to put in place a strategy for how to deal with time spent alone at home.
-And yet you were never willing to join our support or recovery groups online.

When I’ve talked to some addicts and made such suggestions, some men have said, “But you don’t understand, I can’t tell anyone. It would be too shameful.” I know. I understand. It sounds really painful and humiliating. But that shame is keeping you in the dark, and keeping you from getting help. It takes courage, but you need to overcome that fear and be vulnerable, otherwise you won’t be helped. Have a little faith in people. Most people want to help and show compassion. You don’t have to tell the whole world. Tell someone who you know already cares about you.

If you want to quit, it is possible, but it takes hard work. Why expect that it would be easy? It is an addiction after all. We don’t expect drug addicts just to up and quit one day, never again having a temptation or difficult struggle. Why expect that it will be different for us? It’s hard yes. But it’s not impossible. You can overcome this.

And don’t think that a relapse means you have tried to quit but failed. Relapses will often be there! But don’t view the relapse as a failure of the whole recovery process. Some people fail and lose hope and then wonder why they should keep trying. But the reality is that for almost every person I talk to, they love life so much more when they are not giving in. They feel free. They are more happy. If we fail, we should remember what it feels like to be free and living life without crossdressing or sissy hypnosis. Let the failure spur you back to wanting to live in freedom again. Every day of freedom is a day of freedom. It’s wonderful and worth it. Even if we relapse, we should not give up trying to quit, or become hopeless, and turn back to slavery again. Rather, remind yourself the joy of not giving in. It’s better to live in freedom with an occasional relapse, then to live in slavery to addiction. And you will likely find, as you are working on your recovery, that your failures become fewer and fewer, with longer times in between. And you may also find a lessening in the severity of the stuff that you give in to when you have a relapse. Then suddenly one day you will be startled to realize that you haven’t relapsed in years. This is how recovery from addiction usually works.

Change is possible. It takes time, and it takes work. But if you aren’t willing to put the work in, don’t expect change. Reevaluate your motivation. Perhaps you didn’t really want to stop crossdressing after all.

If you do want to change, there is hope! For a starting place – 12 steps to stop crossdressing.

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