Some time ago I watched an episode of the television show “House.” It’s a doctor show about diagnosing patients, but they really get into the personal issues of the patients in the show. I found this episode very interesting in the parallels I saw to crossdressing. The episode was called “We Need the Eggs” in season 8. There is a big surprise in the episode when we find out that the main patient has a life-size realistic doll that he calls his girlfriend, and he treats her as such and is emotionally attached to her. We find out he was hurt by unrequited love in the past and thought this fake woman would be easier than trying to find another real relationship. The big question of the episode is whether he, as well as doctors in the show, can move on from past painful experiences and move on to living real life again. At one point, he is ready to change and move on past the doll, but at the end of the episode he was still with it.
The man’s relationship to this object, this doll, was very confusing to everyone in the show, from the doctors to his friend, the neighbor. The doctors clearly think something is messed up about this, though House himself in his normal antisocial way does point out that this fake woman is easier to live with than a real woman in a real relationship. At times they wonder if the patient’s behavior is a sign of neurological damage. The neighbor, his friend, a real woman, is freaked out to learn this truth about the doll and apparently never sees him again. The patient knows that it is something weird, and hides it from other people, but also defends himself that it works for him and makes him happy. The saddest thing is that it appears that his friend, the neighbor, loved him and wanted something more, but he kept refusing her saying he had a girlfriend already, except the girlfriend was the doll.
I can’t help but think crossdressing is so much like this. It also is a substitute for a real woman (whether one is married or not). See this article – The Transvestic Career Path. It is weird behavior that we keep hidden, just like the man’s doll. It is clearly and utterly foolish to everyone who finds out about it. To the others in the show, the doll is clearly a false delusion and not reality. To others, our crossdressing is obviously a confused man in a dress, not a real woman. People wonder how we can be so blind just like they wondered in the show how the patient could be so blind to it being only a doll.
Hear the truth from the mouth of a crossdresser (from this book). Loving the fake woman replaces loving a real woman. “For a lot of TVs the dressing and masturbation is a lot more enjoyable than heterosexuality … you have only yourself to think about and you can do the whole thing exactly the way you want to.” John sees JoAnn as a “playgirl without real-life worries … just enjoying the fun and pleasure … while John has to worry about relationships with people. But the biggest problem is that cross dressing has been the reason behind my breaking up all my relationships with people I’ve cared about. Girls want togetherness and I don’t. Mostly, I want to go out as JoAnn.”
The man in the show was substituting the doll for a real woman, because it was easier. We do the same thing with crossdressing. It’s so much easier to create a woman who wears only what we want, says only what we want, a woman we can manipulate and watch in the mirror. It’s a substitution for real womanhood. But it’s not a real woman. The reality the man longed for with the doll could never be satisfied. He thought it made him happy, but he was having sex with a rubber dummy (at least he was having sex with another entity, albeit an object, whereas in crossdressing we really are being turned on to ourselves which is pretty messed up). It could never be a real woman. For us with crossdressing, whether you are crossdressing for sexual pleasure or wanting to live as a woman, that reality can never be obtained. You will never be a real woman. It is only playing around with a false reality. As the patient in the show should have done, we need to move on and live real life, and stop staying in slavery to the fake woman. Let’s learn to embrace real women, whether that is having healthy friendships with real women in our lives, or finding a woman to marry and spending the rest of your life with her.