There is a common type of argument in favor of crossdressing that I think is rather unsophisticated and false. We can boil those arguments down to statements like this –
“They are just clothes, what’s the big deal?”
“Every culture is different, clothing is neutral.”
“Wearing a dress here isn’t really a big deal since in other countries men wear kilts or kimonos or sarongs or robes.”
“If a woman can wear pants, then why can’t I wear a dress?”
“Men should be allowed to enjoy colorful and soft fabrics.”
“Crossdressing is just a clothing choice for me, it’s not sexual.”
Basically the argument goes, crossdressing is just about wearing different clothes, and it shouldn’t be a big deal. Clothing doesn’t matter. So crossdressing should be allowed and tolerated and not thought of as wrong or strange. This kind of argument seems very persuasive at first glance. Yeah, what is technically wrong with me wearing fabric cut differently than has been traditionally done? What reason is there to think that scientifically or morally women can wear high heels but men can’t? What’s the big deal? They are just clothes, so don’t make them out to be more significant than they are! There is nothing inherently feminine about a dress or skirt or high heels! They are not important. They should be allowed to be worn by men or women. These statements sound rational.
But if you think about it a little more carefully you realize that the grounds for this argument are not even truly agreed upon by crossdressers themselves. It’s a false argument, at least coming from the mouths of crossdressers. The argument states that the clothing is not important, it’s not a big deal. But if that were true, why are the crossdressers so consumed with crossdressing? Why do they say that it is impossible to quit crossdressing? Why do they say they cannot live without it? You see, they are NOT “just clothes” to the crossdresser. They are far more special than that. It is highly significant to crossdressers that certain clothing is deemed “feminine” or “masculine.” Crossdressers probably more than all other people recognize the important differences between male and female clothing. In fact, they are so special that crossdressers are willing to do something that society thinks is utterly disturbing. They are willing to do something that most of them struggle to keep secret and live in fear of someone finding out.
If it is really true that crossdressers think that the clothes are no big deal, that it is just fabric and materials put together in a different way, then why not just go along with society and not make a big stink? Why put yourself at such risk? Why is crossdressing such an important “need” in your life? Why do it when so many people think it is unnatural and disturbing? Why do it when if affects so many people in your life and can even ruin relationships with children, cause a divorce, or make you lose your job?
Let’s not fool ourselves, even those of you who accept crossdressing as something good or harmless. If you argue that crossdressing is good, fine, but please don’t throw around silly arguments like this. Of course they are not “just clothes.” In every culture there are distinctions between male and female dress, including our own. To just pretend that isn’t the case is naive. Whether you are crossdressing for sexual reasons, or to help with your gender dysphoria, or to escape from reality, or to have a thrill at passing, all of these motivations show that the clothing is EXTREMELY significant to you, and they are not “just clothes.” The clothes NEED to be different and feminine looking and distinct from men’s clothes in order to satisfy your motivation for crossdressing in the first place. I highly doubt that most crossdressers are wearing traditionally female clothing “just because” they like the color or the feel of a fabric. It is clear that crossdressing, whether it is sexually or not, fulfills a very important felt need in a crossdresser’s life, and to say it’s no big deal, that it is just neutral fabric, well that is playing games with the truth.