Don’t Do It: Stopping Addiction at First Sight

By NHA:

There you are, minding your business, and suddenly, a wayward thought arises. You are being tempted. You prayed the past was past. You promised God you would not go down that path again. Yet, a voice, a feeling, a thought…whispers, “Satisfy me. Satisfy you…”

What can you do?

Don’t do it. Don’t entertain the temptation. Don’t rationalize. Simply move on. Take a step in the opposite direction. Direct your mind to the next moment, a new thought. Redirect those synapses.

Temptations are a default of our existence. Regardless of how enticing they may be, temptations are not fate. You and I have a choice— be swept by the current or resist and paddle towards our calling, that is, to our Savior, our Maker, to the only joy that can satisfy our deepest want.

When I suggest you move on, take a step in the opposite direction, it is key that you are clear in the direction you want to go. “If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there,” said Lewis Carroll. You need to know where you are aiming to go. If you are a follower of Christ, then He is your aim.

Let me quickly acknowledge that it is not perfection we are after. It is transformation. Transformation from our anti-God nature. Transformation of not-quite-fulfillment to fulfillment.

Also, let me say that this transformation, what the Bible calls sanctification, is a process. It is not a one-and-done thing. It is a lifetime journey, a long experience. In His always-perfect plan, God has ordained that we are fully justified by declaration, once and for all. However, our sanctification is a process that continues until we see Him.

Until then, we are (hopefully) being renewed day by day. Sanctification means “being set apart for holy use.” Whereas we are “qualified” to be of service by the completed work of Jesus Christ, our fashioning into instruments that reflect the beauty of God is a work of art process, refined by fire.

I love the Mission Impossible phrase, “Your mission, should you choose to accept it…”

Your mission, as a follower of Christ, is to follow Him above all things and people, including yourself. Anything else is a distraction, and as the Apostle Paul said, no soldier fit for service, no athlete training for the Olympics, no follower of Jesus, gets entangled in the distractions of this world. Oh, and how many distractions there are.

Your sanctification, Follower of Jesus, is a process of renewal, one awareness at a time. In my experience, the process works like this stumble > acknowledge we stumbled > admit our need for our Savior > get up and follow Him (again). Let me remind you again— we are focusing not on perfection, but on the get up and follow Jesus part of our sanctification process. The complete you— fully justified and sanctified— awaits when you see Christ face to face. Until then, you and I buckle up for a journey.

By the way, know that you are not alone in this struggle, on this journey. Jesus reminds all His followers to remember our first love (Revelation 2:4). Him! Jesus! As one classic hymn says, we are prone to forget. Not only do we forget God, we are ever moving from one thing to another. We are easily bored! How soon we forget the delight we had for our spouses, friends, hobbies, and we get sucked into seeking something new. However, nothing, no matter how new, can satisfy your soul’s need for true love like your Savior can.

You must remember who loves you. You must decide to not let anything deter you from running towards that love. Even if you must crawl over rocky temptation, you must press on. Therefore, when thoughts and feelings tempt you to stray off your course, you must have a plan, an answer. You must say, I won’t, I don’t to the things that entice you off the one way to true joy. “Oh, come see what I have for you,” says the temptress. At she beckons, resolve now to answer with a firm no. Say, “No. I will remain faithful to my Savior. I won’t do it.”

What follows below is a small sampling of temptations that have enticed the best of men. If these are a trigger, stop and refocus on what your true desire is. Remind yourself of what your truly want. If you don’t know, then address the question: What do you truly want above all things? If it is not the love of your Maker, your Savior, then you will be susceptible to whatever tempts you, grand and empty as they may be. However, if you have tasted and seen that God is good, then, when temptations arise:

Don’t do it. When you:

…want to touch that dress, that silk, that material…don’t do it.

…want to sashay up the stairs…don’t do it.

…try on her bra just to see what it feels like…don’t do it.

…wear feminine clothes to “spice up your sex life”…don’t do it.

…try on her makeup…don’t do it.

…wear fingernail polish because it’s the in thing…don’t do it.

…wear fingernail polish to feel sexy and push that edge…don’t do it.

…wear those clothes to see what if feels like to be cute…don’t do it.

…check out that online lingerie store…don’t do it.

…flirt with anything girly so you sense what you think girls feel…don’t do it.

…click on that ad with the girl with the cute outfit…don’t do it.

…are tired of being the guy and you want to “just be the girl for a change” …don’t do it.

…wonder what it would be like to wear her heels…don’t do it.

…you wonder what her lipstick feels like…don’t do it.

…you consider googling for a boy or man transformed into a woman…don’t do it.

…you consider googling “can hormones make me a woman” …don’t do it.

…begin to fantasize about being that woman you saw…don’t do it.

…begin searching for “crossdressers” …don’t do it.

…wonder if your wife will be okay if you crossdress…don’t do it.

…wonder how your kids will handle you being a woman…don’t do it.

…want to check out the women’s department, just to peek or feel…don’t do it.

…are lying in bed and start down that ‘wish I were a girl’ path…don’t do it.

…wake up from a wrong dream and want to continue…don’t do it.

…want to sample a porn site…don’t do it.

…want to sing along with a female and imagine you’re a woman singing…don’t do it.

…search for groups that are okay with what you know is not good…don’t do it.

…doubt that God loves you, that Jesus didn’t cover you…don’t do it.

…start to go down the road of thinking there is no hope for you…don’t do it.

…are feeling bored, down, tired, hungry, listless, a failure, unappreciated, overwhelmed, lacking purpose, blah, unmotivated, not manly, not strong, lacking initiation, tired of initiating, tired of being strong, tired of being “the man of the house,” worthless, untalented, unremarkable, ugly, tired of not having a girlfriend, a bad whatever, and you think it’d be a welcome diversion to explore the feminine side…don’t do it.

Just because a thought comes to mind does not mean you must follow it.

When you catch yourself going down the wrong path, stop! Yes, stop. Then take a deep breath, and immediately begin walking down a good path. Get up and stretch. Go for a walk. Walk the dog. Say hi to a neighbor. Go for a walk and listen to the bible (the YouVersion app is awesome for this) or a good novel. Mow the lawn. Go grocery shopping.

As the Apostle Paul said, not all things are profitable. In fact, it could likely be said of today’s permissive, explorative, anything-goes cultural climate, the Apostle might say most things are not profitable. You must decide what’s profitable, and that is determined by what you truly want. If you’ve tasted and love God’s goodness, then chances are you want more of Him. If you are undecided, your life will certainly reflect that you are not yet convinced of how fulfilling knowing God can be.

You must know without a shadow of doubt where and in whom your joy rests. Otherwise, you will be tossed as the waves wish, never landing on the land true joy of which your soul desires.

If you’ve been down that road of giving in, you know it will not satisfy your deepest needs and wants. You’ve returned to that action, that path, many times and you will keep trekking that path until you seek and find your real need and desire. Until then, you will be enticed by the momentary escape from the emptiness and dissatisfaction of life apart from true love.

Love really does conquer all. Love quenches the thirst for meaning. Love sustains us through the droughts. Love drives us to good things.

But first, we must know what love is. Do you know it? Have you tasted true love? It will surpass anything and anyone on this earth.

Read the Scriptures and find the love you need. The Scriptures are not an irrelevant, antiquated book. It is easy to let others tell you about God, sharing their favorite snippets. Discover Him for yourself.

Imagine your best friend kept telling you about this awesome friend of theirs— how great he is, how he’s fun, kind, great to hang with, loves hanging with me; month after month I share snippets of this friend.. would you not at some point say, “Okay, enough already! Let me meet your friend and see for myself how great this guy is!”? Yes, you know you would.

Read the Scriptures and ask the Holy Spirit to connect you to the best Friend you could ever have.

There is no better, more specific way to know God than through language, the spoken and written word. We are not going to discover our need in a magical whirlwind, or a miracle, or a magnificent vision. Knowing your Maker will best happen via your words and His. Ask a specific question, and God will give you specific answers.

Dive in and find that He is far and above what you desire, so much more than the imaginary things that you are tempted to explore, none of which will meet your real need.

I know it is easy to escape dissatisfaction with myself, yourself, by being someone else. It is easy to believe that being opposite of yourself— being a woman— would make everything right. However, it cannot. You are you. We can imagine till the moon turns green and you will be you, warts and all. Yes, you have your learned sin, your built-in depraved nature, but believe it or not, that is not enough to keep God from satisfying you.

If your escape is crossdressing, porn, sissy fiction, or anything related to womanhood or femininity, ask what being a woman is all about. It’s not the clothes. It’s not the walk, the hair, the makeup. It’s their mind and heart. Just as a woman is intrinsically distinct from man, so is a man from a woman. One cannot manufacture the other.

There is no prototype of manhood or womanhood. Be you. If that means that you struggle with same-sex attraction, then lay that at God’s feet and ask for a love and a purpose that rises past the man-woman relationship. Instead, ask God to show you interests are more exciting than the things that have long encumbered you. Instead of giving in to momentary, time-wasting, integrity-sapping pleasures, devote yourself to serving others in your work, in charity and ministry, as a neighbor, brother, husband, father, son. When the temptations to give in arise…don’t do it.

Accept your suffering with a sense of honor, as a token of trust-gift from God, as a good soldier of Christ Jesus (2 Timothy 2:3). See our struggle as a higher calling, even as a blessing, an opportunity to know your Savior and his suffering. No, Jesus didn’t suffer from CD or the like, but He certainly related to the challenge of not giving in, of not taking the easy path. Press on, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross (Hebrews 12:2). In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood (Hebrews 12:4).

Don’t give in. The joy that awaits you will satisfy you beyond your wildest imagination. You Savior is worth the trial of pressing on. C’mon with me…hang in there, let’s keep walking on the road to Heaven. Stumbling doesn’t mean you always fall. Falling doesn’t mean you give up.

When that errant, non-God-glorifying, peace-robbing thought comes, please…don’t do it.

Instead, do something that is good, wholesome, even benign. Just get off the path that you (hopefully) know you shouldn’t— don’t want to— be on. Press forward towards goodness and peace that only comes when you are happily in your Father’s presence. He certainly is happy to see you smiling back at Him.

Your comrade in arms,

NHA