“I’m curious how the trans person looks in that news article. I’ll just look at it quick then close the window.”

“I’m just curious what might come up if I search on google for ‘men in dresses.’ I’ll just look at the search results but then close Google.”

“Oh, I’m really tempted. I’ll just watch one crossdressing video on YouTube to satiate my thirst, but I will not go further. I just need a taste.”

“I won’t crossdress today. I just need to feel a little bit feminine. I’ll wear that red blouse of my wife’s only, but nothing further. I just enough to feel a little feminine and temper my dysphoria.”

“I just really need to scratch this itch. I need to know what the AI will say when I type in this prompt about crossdressing.”

Just one look is never just one look. It always leads to “looks” plural. It leads to look two and then look three, until you later find yourself back in sinful pleasuring mode. You lose your head. An hour or two later you find yourself fully crossdressed, or immersed in perverse pornography. Or you come to your senses five hours later when you realize how physically thirsty you are after spending five hours on TG fiction or sissy hypnosis. “How did I get here?” You ask yourself. “I had no plans to do this. I can’t even remember how this started. I hate what I’ve done. Why oh why did I do this!?!?!? I never wanted this!!”

I suggest that 90% of the battle is resisting the “just one look.” Don’t rationalize the one look. Learn to resist your curiosity. Curiosity is good, it is a gift from God. But when we get curious about sin it can be deadly. Curiosity not only kills the cat, but it can be killing us. Getting curious about how the towel will look as a skirt in the mirror WILL lead to more. Win the battle over the towel, and then you can win the battle over the bigger crossdressing desires. But if you give in to the towel, you will give in to more.

Recondition your mind to think of the “one look” differently. The one look may technically be mostly harmless on its own depending on what you are actually doing. But when you remember what the one look will lead you to do, you realize that the one look is not insignificant. It is almost everything. It is the one look that starts you on a path that once on, is hard to deviate from. Once you get on that path, you find there are very few turns off that path, and the turns off the path are hidden. You are back in your addictive mode, and you fail to see the ways out, and you get to the point rather quickly that you don’t even want to look for the ways out. It’s like taking a path into a dark forest and quickly becoming lost without knowing how to get back out. But worse, you find yourself wanting to get lost in the dark forest and not wanting to get out.

Transform your mindset. Treat the “just one click” or “just one look” as the small drink that an alcoholic has to avoid at all costs. It will almost always lead to more unless you are very far down the road in your healing and recovery. I’ll be open to say that I can read all kinds of articles and books about crossdressing and autogynephilia without being triggered or tempted. But I was not like that immediately. It took time. And most of us aren’t there yet. And that’s okay! Know yourself, and know your limits.

Don’t focus on putting to death the porn addiction or the crossdressing addiction. That’s big and overwhelming to think about. It might seem so impossible and daunting that you become paralyzed and give up before even starting. The way to succeed is by focusing on putting to death the “just one look.” And that is far more attainable and easy to see how you can overcome it in that moment. Most of us don’t have much hope or understanding of how we can possibly overcome such an entrenched addiction or what feels like a firm sexual orientation. But change is possible. And it starts with the small victories over the small temptations. One victory at a time. Resist the one look.

Proverbs 5:3-8 –

3 For the lips of the adulterous woman drip honey,
and her speech is smoother than oil;
4 but in the end she is bitter as gall,
sharp as a double-edged sword.
5 Her feet go down to death;
her steps lead straight to the grave.
6 She gives no thought to the way of life;
her paths wander aimlessly, but she does not know it.
7 Now then, my sons, listen to me;
do not turn aside from what I say.
8 Keep to a path far from her,
do not go near the door of her house.

Note how the key is to start by avoiding the path that will take you near her house.

Colossians 3:5 – Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.

Matthew 5:27-30 – 27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

Learn to run from the one look.
1 Corinthians 6:18 – Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.
2 Timothy 2:22 – Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. 

Avoid mindless scrolling which will give you opportunity to click to a trigger to make you sin. Mindless scrolling may also make you bored and ready to search for something more alluring. Be intentional in your life. I mean not only in your goals and purpose in life, but also in your hobbies and your fun. Intentionally plan great fun things to do with your time that you can look forward to. Don’t find yourself sitting at home idly wondering what to do. Plan your time better than that.

When I’ve had relapses in the past, this is usually how I failed. I fail to my stupid curiosity, similar to the examples at the very beginning of this post. I rationalize and justify doing stupid things, just one click, just one look, and then find myself doing things that I never expected or wanted to be doing. But I’ve learned that resisting the one look can be most of the battle. And this has helped me a lot to live in more freedom. Learn to resist the one look, and your recovery from addiction is almost assured. Have hope! You can experience victory!