This is strange blog post to write, but at this site we deal with the real issues that confront us, and this is one of them! Some of us have an added burden or difficulty besides the desire to crossdress. Some of us have man boobs, that is, breasts that are bigger than they should be. This can be for a number of reasons, but majorly two:
- You might have the medical condition of gynecomastia.
- You might be overweight, out of shape, and have too much body fat.
I’ve never dealt with #1, but I have had people come to this website and discuss how hard it is to fight crossdressing when they have the added burden of gynecomastia. I have personally dealt with #2 and probably most of us have dealt with it as most Americans tend to be overweight. I’d like to share something about both scenarios.
First, gynecomastia. For the normal man, this condition results in embarrassment. The normal man may seek medical treatment including medications or possible surgery. To deal with the ongoing problem, some men wear special clothing such as fitted vests to try to support their breasts, or flatten and disguise their breasts. Note that these garments are made to disguise breasts, which make them different from women’s bras which are also made for support but don’t flatten the breasts. Furthermore, we know that many, if not most, women’s bras try to accentuate breasts, hold them up, or decorate them nicely.
I can imagine the pain that these men go through. It must not be easy. The size of breasts are one of the things that make men and women different, which is why men find women’s breasts so attractive. To suddenly have yourself what you find very attractive in women must be very confusing and frustrating. It’s an unwanted and painful added burden to their lives. It must make them feel really unattractive to their wives. And I’m sure they avoid taking their shirt off and going to the beach as much as possible. I know there are some men with this condition who have gotten used to it and they don’t let it bother them. That is good, but I know for most men it would be a challenge.
Now, what do you do if you struggle with an addiction to crossdressing and you develop this medical condition?
I would strongly urge you to not to fall into the trap of thinking that your medical condition is an excuse to wear a bra or to crossdress more generally. Don’t try to make that excuse. Don’t fall for that lie. You might try to argue to yourself, or to your wife, that you need to wear a bra in order to give yourself the needed support. But note what I mentioned above about the difference between women’s bras, and the garments they make to help men who have gynecomastia. Be honest with yourself and your wife about your real motivations. If you want to crossdress for the sexual or emotional thrill of crossdressing, then be honest about that to yourself and to your wife. Don’t play games of deception. Don’t play games with reality. If you want to crossdress, no one can stop you. But be honest about what you are doing and why you want to do it. Don’t lie to yourself pretending that you have no choice. You very much have a choice.
In addition to that, here are some further suggestions for you:
- Remember that gynecomastia does not make you a woman. You are a man with an unfortunate medical condition, no different from someone who has cancer or a broken leg.
- You can live a very fulfilling life as a man even with this condition. Most people will probably not even notice your condition, and those that do notice probably won’t care. Don’t live in fear or shame.
- Utilize the special garments they make for men with this condition. It doesn’t matter if those clothes cost more money. Do what you have to do to take care of yourself and reduce your embarrassment.
- Get the medical help that you need. Talk to your doctor about your various medical options. I’ve read a little about various treatment options but I’m not well versed in all the different options and their varying degrees of effectiveness. But if you have gynecomastia, there are tons of websites a simple google search away that will help you think through your options.
- Focus on other areas of your life that will help you to feel manly – Working hard, lifting weights, getting in shape, volunteering your time, leading your family spiritually, learning about new things, etc.
There is no doubt that this condition makes it harder to resist crossdressing. The easier it is to make yourself look like an attractive woman, the harder it is to resist the crossdressing. This is why I always have a beard, to make it so that crossdressing would be less satisfying if I were tempted to give in. But I encourage you to treat this as your cross to bear, and don’t give in to the temptations that come. God’s grace is sufficient for you. There is still a way out of every temptation. You have a choice. You still don’t have to give in.
Don’t use your gynecomastia as an excuse to sin. It’s tempting to run away from the pain you are feeling, especially this pain that hits at your identity, your sense of self as a male. But fully surrendering yourself to fantasy is not a solution to that pain. And as you crossdress more and more, rather than finding healing to the embarrassment and hurts you are feeling as a man, you will only add more pain to yourself, more identity confusion, and more frustration. And in the end, you will become enslaved to the false reality of crossdressing.
Before I leave the topic of gynecomastia, I’d like to mention one more type of person. I have read some forums and blogs online in which I learned that some men have developed a desire to crossdress by first having gynecomastia. What an unfortunate tragedy. Maybe you are one of those people who is reading this post right now. You have been suffering from gynecomastia, and thoughts and fantasies are starting to go through your mind about wearing your wife’s bra, or buying a bra for yourself. When you think about it, it sounds interesting and fun. Or maybe it sounds exciting, and you have a tiny sexual thrill go through your body.
Let me warn you off as best as I can. All of the guys in this blog community would say the same thing. We would not wish for this addiction on our worst enemies! The more you give in to crossdressing fantasies and behavior, the more you feel turned on by it, the more you will teach your body to desire it more and more. Your body can gradually learn to associate sexual pleasure with crossdressing, and eventually you may desire crossdressing more than a real woman. Don’t be foolish, don’t give in. Read the posts, articles, and testimonies on this site. Be wise, run away from crossdressing before real addiction and enslavement and perversion sets in.
Man Boobs from being Overweight
Now, let’s move on to #2, those men who struggle with slightly larger breasts because they are out of shape and overweight with too much fat. For the normal man, this is also an embarrassment and potentially a source of shame. Here are two articles that will help you understand this condition better and also how to exercise and eat healthier in order to get rid of your man boobs.
What I have written above for those with gynecomastia applies to those of us with too much body fat as well. If you skipped the first part of the post thinking it didn’t apply to you, please go back and read it. Having man boobs it NOT an excuse to crossdress. Being overweight and unhealthy and being lazy about exercise is not an excuse to crossdress. Nor is it an excuse to wear a bra. Instead of trying to rationalize your crossdressing, work hard to take care of the body that God gave you and lose some weight. Get in shape. Be the man you were created to be, and be healthy. Be a good steward of your body.
In the past years I had become a little self-conscious about this, even though I don’t have much a problem with man boobs compared to many other men. What’s hard for me is that in the past I had read fantasy stories about using gynecomastia as an excuse to need to crossdress. This makes me super sensitive today about any trace of man boobs. I do not want to fall back into crossdressing again. I don’t want to see man boobs in the mirror that remind me of those temptations. Because of this, I have been eating healthier and exercising at least 4-5 times a week over the last several years. This has helped me a lot to feel better about myself as a person, and as a man. It feels good to take care of my body. It feels good to feel healthy and strong and able to run. It’s fun to play sports with friends and exercise, and they say it releases endorphins. It feels good to look in the mirror and not see man boobs or a beer belly. Now, I’m by no means a star athlete, nor have I rid myself completely of excess body fat – I’m not an exercise addict. But overall I feel healthy and look quite good. An added bonus is that by lifting weights, I’m starting to look more muscular, which is fun because I grew up being incredibly weak and scrawny as a child, which got me teased a lot in school. I also appreciate having more body strength when someone in my family needs me to lift something heavy. It feels good and manly to be helpful in that way.
Guys, when you look at your man boobs, you will be tempted to feel bad about yourself, and that pain may even entice you to surrender and retreat into crossdressing, a fantasy world where you can become someone else to try to feel better about yourself. Don’t do it. Don’t surrender. Instead, take care of yourself! Be the man you are supposed to be. Start eating healthier, and get off your butt. Do cardio activities like jogging or basketball. And then do pushups or weight lifting (hence the photo above). Once you get in shape, the man breasts are almost guaranteed to disappear or reduce in size. In addition to getting rid of your man boobs, your wife will likely become more attracted to you when you are healthy and look healthy, and she will appreciate you having less health problems because you are in better shape.
If your man boobs are causing you to be tempted to crossdress, remember Jesus’ words in Matthew 5 –
9 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.
Not only are you commanded to be a good steward of your body which is a temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20), but you are commanded to do whatever you have to do to get rid of temptation. Working out to get rid of your man boobs is therefore a win-win, a way to be obedient to both commands. Most of you have no excuse to not exercise. You have time. What are you doing that is preventing you from exercising 15 or 30 minutes a day? Get off the computer. Get off the television. Take initiative. Have self-control and self-discipline. Start eating healthier foods. Learn how to cook if you have to. And get a new routine and schedule to include exercise in your life. In the olden days when all of us men had real physical work to do, we wouldn’t have needed to do all this extra exercise, but in today’s soft world, we need to set aside specific time to exercise.
If you are really worried about being bored while weight lifting or jogging, here are some quick tips. While jogging, listen to music on an mp3 player or listen to an audio book, or listen to podcasts or sermons. You could also use that time to pray. Jogging is one of my favorite times to pray, completely away from distractions. While weight lifting, you could do the same things, but one thing I have found fun is to watch television shows while lifting weights. Similarly, you could watch television shows while jogging on a treadmill.
It’s good to have a little guidance on how to workout, specifically in order to reduce fat and man boobs. You can find a ton of resources online, but I found this video helpful. Sorry for the photo that appears at the beginning of this video. I hope it just looks stupid to you, and that it is not a photo that will lead you to temptation. But it’s a very helpful video that can lead you and guide you in getting the right kinds of exercise that will help you to get rid of your large fatty breasts.